Book| Educated

A Memoir by Tara Westover, 2018

Warning, slight spoiler ahead!

When I first started this book, I missed the word "memoir" on the title. It was to my shock while reading to learn that this is the author's real story! This memoir is atypical. Tara Westover grew up in a devout Mormon family. Her father prohibited his children from going to school or owning a birth certificate. One of Tara's older brothers, Tyler, inspired her to see education as a better life path. She succeeded in earning a Ph.D. from Cambridge University.

When she first stepped foot in a school at seventeen, Tara did not know major historical events, e.g. (the holocaust and the civil rights movement). As she explained in an interview, she thought Rosa Parks was arrested for "stealing a seat," not for sitting down. She did not know basic information, for example, the fact that Europe is not a country. However, her talent and strong learning passion were enough to impress her professors.

During her college years, Tara used to come back to Idaho during break time. Her father forced her into the junkyard and construction work. She suffered the aggression of her dysfunctional brother, Shawn. Shawn verbally and physically abused her. In the beginning, Tara had self-doubts about the abuse. She eventually gained confidence in her thoughts and feelings. She informed her family about the abuse. However, most of her family did not trust her. The author explains the struggle of being estranged from her family. Despite the trauma, the book is not self-pitying. Tara describes the complexity of her family and the larger Mormon community.

I see in this book a valuable parenting lesson. Tyler Westover's review of his sister's book suggests a different perspective on their parents' actions. He saw his father's story through a different lens and rejected Tara's assumption that his father was against higher education. There are many possibilities for these different perspectives. The father's parenting to the siblings was probably not identical, or the father was older while parenting Tara. Or perhaps every child perceives their parent's parenting differently. Therefore, an explanation of the actions to the children could have eliminated this confusion.

Although the autobiography is atypical, "Educated" can resonate with readers from different backgrounds and religions. Readers with stable family relationships and happy childhood can still find this book relevant to their personal experience. Personally, it triggered many thoughts: it reminds us of the hard choice between what we need to retain from our childhood and what to abandon. Many religious individuals struggle to differentiate between family obedience and treating their family with excellence. For example, for Muslims, Quran emphasizes being dutiful to our parents, "Bir." Bir is different from blind obedience. A fine line that we always need to be conscious of as parents and as children.

Lastly, Tara's command of the language and writing style contributes to making this book a page-turner. Overall a great read!